The Talk
by Wendy the Creeper
Summary: "G, where do baby penguins come from?" Rookie asks Gary the dreaded question. Crackfic. Some gameplay inaccuracies may be present. My first fanfic. Revised 3/3/2013


**Hello there! This is my first official CP fanfic! I have updated it a little for reasons...I hope you guys like it!**

**I plan on writing more fanfics soon!**

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"G, where do baby penguins come from?"

Gary looked down from his work bench to find Rookie right next to him. He had a goofy grin on his beak.

Gary sighed and said, "I don't think you're ready, Rookie."

Frowning, Rookie asked, "But I'm of age, right? I'm probably a teen in penguin years, so I can take it! I'm a big boy!"

"That's not what I meant-GYAAAAAA!" Gary was suddenly cut off by a monitor moving into his face.

"Agent G, I think Rookie's ready," said the Director, who was seriously invading Gary's personal space.

"Director, please! You're invading my personal space!" Gary exclaimed. "My apologies for being Captain Obvious. Anyway, are you sure Rookie's ready for 'The Talk'?"

The Director replied, "Of course. Take him to the EPF HQ pronto."

"Yes sir," both of them replied. "Wait, what order did I just receive again?" Rookie asked.  
"Just go to the HQ," Gary ordered.

…

The HQ was unusually quiet this afternoon-not a single penguin in sight. The only sounds that could be heard were the background music, the beeping computers, and the young couple making out in the corner.

"Ok, Rookie, please follow us into this teleporter," G said after he gestured toward the VR Room teleporter. He and the Director monitor went into the teleporter.

Rookie nodded in agreement and followed suit. After they were all in the teleporter, Gary pressed a bunch of buttons on the inside. Within a few seconds, the teleporter flashed a blinding light and the trio was whisked away to a factory like room.

Rookie couldn't believe his eyes.

The room was filled with jars that contained bodies of penguins. He saw bodies of all colors in there-blue, pink, lime green, you name it! Some were even fully dressed! Also, there were several machines in the room, each of them mass-producing penguins of a specific color. Every time a penguin was finished, a crane would pick up the penguin and place it in a jar. There were also cranes taking penguin bodies out of the jars and putting them in chutes that lead to...somewhere. Saying that Rookie was confused would be an understatement.

"Wha...wha...what the...what?" Rookie stuttered.

The Director spoke up and broke the silence. "This is where baby penguins come from. Ok, technically they're not babies but-"

"WHAT!" interrupted Rookie.

"Uh, let me try to give a better explanation," said Gary. "We penguins are not sentient creatures. The truth is that we are being controlled by a species called homo sapiens, or humans."

Rookie snapped out of shock. "Who are these humans?"

"Humans are mammals at the core, but they are the most advanced species known on Earth. They are very intelligent compared to most species; at the very least, they have more goals than to just grow and reproduce. These humans are the ones who created us."

"Created? Don't penguins occur naturally in nature?"

Gary adjusted his glasses. "Technically, yes. However, normal penguins don't create a civilization like ours or do "human" things, not to mention our unnatural color. Also, ask yourself: is there any way to tell between a male and female penguin here on Club Penguin without the aid of our clothing or our names?"

Rookie examined himself closely. He soon realized that there was absolutely no difference between a boy and a girl penguin, and nodded "no" in reply.

"Exactly; we are unable to reproduce by normal means. See, the humans first created us as a government experiment in hopes of creating a fully abled, controllable creature that could be used to explore and research areas that normal humans can't possibly survive in. Eventually, the project lost funding and got shut down. That is, until a Canadian company purchased the project and built upon it."

"Canadian who?" Rookie asked.

"Err...uh...another time Rookie," Gary replied. "To continue, the company continued the project in a direction different from its original purpose. They decided that they would use these penguin creatures as a social network simulator for humans. They soon created an island off the course of Antarctica for this purpose, which we call Club Penguin. Several test iterations later, they got beta testers to work out the major kinks in the system, and then Club Penguin opened to the public. To fund the project, they offer people memberships to unlock more features."

"Uh...that makes sense...but what about the puffles?"

"The puffles were created as something to entertain and offer companionship to the humans, similar to their pets in real life," Gary explained.

"And Rockhopper Island?"

"A fabrication. It doesn't exist."

"Alrighty then...so I guess Herbert and Klutzy are just entertainment for the humans too," said Rookie.

"Presicely. We fight them just to entertain the humans with a storyline."

Rookie frowned and complained, "Wait, then why even bother with them anyway!"

Gary smiled and said in monotone, "We aren't sentient Rookie. We cannot control our actions. It's all the human's actions."

"Also, we cannot think outside of what we're told, nor can we contact our master," said the Director. "All of our memories are given to us by our masters. In reality, we cannot remember what we do at all by ourselves. We're just dolls."

"Huh?" Rookie asked.

"See those jars?" the Director asked. "When our masters want to use us, the crane takes us out of our jar and drops us in one of those chutes, taking us to one of the servers. At the end of the day, we are put back in our jar to wait for our master again."

"If our masters don't come for us we are recycled and given a new master," Gary added.

"Ok...that's...uh..." Rookie suddenly stopped speaking. He went blank, and a crane picked him up to place him in a jar.

Looks like his master was done for the day.


End file.
